６☆ Trajectory with Sariel: Past Familiarity || Light and Night 光与夜之恋 齐司礼【触目如故】 英译

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of war, public execution, fire, death

Disclaimers: This is a new feature in Light and Night. For this card, there's no dates but the new system allows you to see 6 different parts of the character's past, consisting of either voice clips or short stories from the Character's POV. They can all be pretty dark and sad. Please read it at your own risk. Take pauses when needed. Remember to breathe when needed.

Recover: 119 Years Ago, Late Autumn

Sariel: I'll see you off from here.

Lizard: Lao Qi, this is actually our first time parting for so long.

Sariel: Mm.

Lizard: Oh you, not even giving me an enthusiastic farewell?

Lizard: It'd still be fine for me to at least shake your hand, right? Consider that as my wish for you to have a smooth-sailing journey.

Sariel: No need.

Sariel: I'll be leaving.

Lizard: Lao Qi, you've been wanting to leave this place for a very long time, right?

Sariel: What did you say?

Lizard: You've already heard it didn't you. Am I right? You moody old man.

Sariel: ......

Lizard: Why are you glaring at me like that? Did I say it wrong?

Sariel: Boring.

Lizard: You're bored of me? I'm the one being bored of you alright.

Lizard: I kept having a feeling that you are sending me here because I've done something wrong, I dare not to even say a single "no" to you throughout this period.

Lizard: In order for you to feel that keeping me by your side isn't a bad thing, I don't simply eat, not running around, and I'm even the first one to catch any little bugs that have climbed onto those flowers and plants that you like.

Lizard: Turns out you still send me here. I think can't be bored out even further than this.

Sariel: ......

Lizard: I've finally understood, you weren't even thinking of changing an environment, you're just running away.

Lizard: When exactly will you be able to come out from the your past shells?

Sariel: You've thought too highly of yourself. Stop thinking that you understand me well just because you've been following around me.

Sariel: Many understandings are just opinionated.

Lizard: Yes, I'm opinionated, since you're leaving, then I might as well be opinionated all the way until the end.

Lizard: Sariel, you ARE a coward.

Lizard: You have never forgave yourself throughout so many years, and showing all of your thorns to anyone that approaches you.

Lizard: For anyone that have accidentally mentioned the past, you can't wait to ignore them for three days.

Lizard: Whenever we don't talk about it, you'll start to be suspicious instead, and thinking we are secretly talking behind your backs.

Lizard: I can feel you're forever seeing your past nightmares whenever you see me.

Lizard: You think you have no way to forgive yourself, but what makes you think we have? Who among us aren't hurt? But life still has to go on!

Lizard: Yeah right, you're the only miserable one, we are all heartless.

Lizard: You will never be able to see the world before your eyes, until you completely exude breaths of death--

Sariel: Enough!

Sariel: If you were this resentful about me, then you should never have stayed by my side from the very beginning.

Lizard: Then you shouldn't be saving me from the very beginning too, just let me die wherever I want.

Lizard: Not talking anymore aren't you? You can't do it, can you?

Sariel: Who said so?

Lizard: Why can't you be a little more frank even at times like this?

Lizard: Lao Qi, I don't wish to see you like this.

Sariel: No need to give me such busybody forms of concern.

Sariel: You should start enjoying your long-awaited life in Rain Island that is far away from me.

Lizard: Do you think you can escape the past by leaving me and head to somewhere new?

Lizard: You sealed yourself within, yet you are always afraid to face it, then changed a place of hiding.

Lizard: Running away is the most meaningless way to deal with it.

Sariel: If I were to chase after something meaningful for everything, I should've been dead a long time algo.

Lizard: You're always like this, pushing away those who cared for you more and more.

Sariel: Do I need to?

Lizard: You already had your answer just by asking this.

Sariel: Alright, stop being so shameless.

Lizard: Sariel, you have made your decision, so I'm not trying to make you change your mind today by saying this. I just wish for you to be able to forgive yourself.

Lizard: May you have a smooth-sailing journey.

Sariel: Should I be thanking you for finally managing to control your emotions?

Lizard: You only know how to say things like this, stay single forever, you old fox.

Sariel: I'm honored.

Sariel: ... I'm leaving.

Lizard: Lao Qi, your key is still with me!

Lizard: Lao Qi!

Lizard: Oh you, you clearly have heard me, you just don't want to admit it.

Lizard: I'm an idiot if I were to worry for him ever again!

Recover: 118 Years Ago, Early Spring

I have finally make arrangements of everything, and left that land.

Half a year ago, I accepted a friend's invitation and decided to head to Denmark. He described the Danish seas being clear and quiet. I wanted to have a look. Perhaps by the time I've inhaled the damp  b breaths from the seas, I won't ever recall the memories of the battlefields again.

But when I've finally stood before that sea, I realized I was wrong.

The carriages and the laughter of the bustling crowd are filled with vitality, but different from them, what I saw was the darkness accumulated by the muds under the seas. They are the same as me, existing from a very long time ago, not only they are aimless, they also have no desires.

In an instant, I felt lost: Besides warfare, what else do I know?

If I don't do something, then how should I determine if I'm still alive? Or have I already been long buried at a certain battlefield? 

Walking past the bustling crowd, I stopped before an apparel store. A resell label is attached to he tattered showcase window, the mannequins are topless, only to wait for the tailor to put a beautiful dress on them. 

Staring at it, a blurry silhouette surfaced from my mind, and another armguard that I didn't manage to finish making on time. These memories are also incomplete, just like the showcase window, embellishing the tattered silhouette reflecting within.

At least I can fix this glass, then--

Then can I also attempt repairing the broken past? To live a completely different life?

That night, I told my friend about the sudden idea I had.

"Of course you can! Sariel, since when did you start needing others' opinions on things like this?"

I did not answer him, because I do not know the answer either.

Two weeks later, my workshop opened at the corner of the shopping street, right opposite the sea.

I started to try being a normal tailor. I place everything I've seen, and every dream and stories told by others into the tip of my pen, sketching on the drawing paper, then turn them into reality one by one. 

I knew this cannot save my soul, there is never anything that could save it, and I am clear on this part. But this does not stop me from searching for an exit. Like a faint candlelight, just like what a certain someone told me in a long, long time ago.

I have finally stopped having frequent nightmares at night. I would occasionally recall that bloody and cruel battlefield, but it feels like it has been very long in the past.

By the time the spring breeze brushes over, the seawaters and time have began to flow.

Recovery: 113 Years Ago, Winter Night

When new year is about to arrive, I was invited to the castle, and met the Danish king. He enthusiastically invited me to make new year attire for the royal family. I did not decline it.

"Mr. Sariel, please wait a moment."

Before leaving the palace, a servant named Dante called me.

"Your designs are just so wonderful, my fiancée and I have fell in love with it. Our wedding ceremony will be held on next Spring, I wonder if it's possible for us to have you design a set of wedding attire?"

Looking at the sliver of bashful gentleness on his face, I accepted this request. 

I designed the wedding attire for Dante and his fiancée, using marguerite flowers that can be found anywhere in the Danish winders as my inspiration.

Throughout the process of creating the attire, an idea surfaced from my mind. It was originally just an idea, but it has became gradually clearer-- Perhaps I can start a brand, it has no relations with the past Sariel, only belonging to the current, brand new me.

I named this brand as Vesi. Not only it represents a new life, it perhaps also represents a form of anticipation and desire.

But before the cold winters have passed, an army of imperial soldiers suddenly barged into my workshop. They quietly and barbarically brought me to the palace.

"What a treacherous thing the foolish Asian has done!"

I only found out from their conversation, that on the day I was brought away, Dante died to public execution -- How can a humble male servant wear similar clothes to the noble royalty?

He was killed by his true feelings.

The ridiculous oppression that came for no season and my simple promise are also accomplices.

Through the iron rails, I saw the ice-cold gallows covered by white snow outside the windows, also the seas in distant rolling in black waves.

I thought this sea is quiet and flat at one point. Despite hiding countless accumulated darkness underneath, they are just like the giant fishes under the seas knowing how to hide themselves, so the incoming ships can travel normally.

This is all I wanted. Yet I wrongly assumed that everyone wanted the same.

The smell of the sea breeze made me want to vomit, I left the palace, and picked up my pen in a hurry as soon as I returned to my workshop.

I used the bright yellow and blues, but I drew a bunch of dark and  dirty color blocks instead. I realized I am no longer able to express anything through my drawings anymore.

The marguerites on the windowsill have wilted, the half-completed white dress fell onto the ground, the delicate fabric is even filled with messy footprints left by the guards.

I stared at those remaining drafts, and lit a fire.

I think, I no longer need to help, those who needed help are all dead.

Evoke: 81 Years Ago, Springtime: Burnt Norton

The oceanic climate are always drizzling. The hydrangeas in the courtyard has not been long opened, yet the strings of rainwaters pours down from the eaves, completely pouring onto the blue-purplish petals.

Sariel raised his head and looked out from the windows, the dense rain curtains have circled the whole world, only the gas light in front of the path outside of entrance is swaying its floating light, as if it's going to be extinguished at any moment.

A familiar silhouette holding a black umbrella appeared in the rainy night. With a creak, the door of the courtyard is pushed open.

Raymond kept the umbrella and placed it on the umbrella rack as if this place is just like his home

Raymond: The weather today is too cold.

Sariel: Then why are you still wearing a short-sleeve? As if the cold won't kill you.

Although saying so, a cup of hot tea is very quickly served on the table.

Sariel: Have some tea.

Sariel has already gotten used to this young Erda's uninvited visit.

When he decided to live here temporary a little while ago, with not a single word said, Raymond has already proactively arranged everything for him.

Raymond: So hot! Do you drink teas this hot now?

Sariel: I'm not a cat*, my tongue isn't afraid of being burnt.

*T/N: Fun fact! In Japanese, there's a phrase that describes those who can't drink/ eat hot food called 'nekojita' and it literally translates to 'cat's tongue'! Also, Raymond's true form is a cat.

Raymond: What did you put inside? It tastes a little odd.

Sariel: Jasmine flower.

Raymond: It tastes astringent, I still prefer osmanthus flowers better.

Sariel: It's not the season yet.

Raymond: Then brew for me when I'm back!

Sariel: Where are you traveling to again?

Raymond: That's not the case. I'm prepared to join the warfare, so I've purposely came here to tell you this.

The joints in Sariel's fingers instantly tensed, the bone china cup suddenly stopped midair.

For that one instant, the smells of gunpowder returned, a faint feeling of disgust surfaced from his heart. He isn't a pessimist, but he felt like he has seen the final ending of the man before him.

Sariel raised his head and looked at the overly young face.

Sariel: Have you given it a good thought?

Raymond: Of course. I will be reporting to the camp tomorrow, and immediately depart right after.

Sariel: No need.

A cold and rigid tone is just like a bucket of cold water, immediately extinguishing Raymond's enthusiasm.

Raymond: Sariel, don't stop my decision. We are in dire states now, I can't sit here to watch our home being destroyed.

Sariel looked at him, only to end up shaking his head because he can't bear it.

Sariel: Don't seek your doom.

Raymond widened his eyes immediately.

Raymond: How could this be seeking my doom? Don't you believe I will win?

Sariel: Do you believe it yourself?

Raymond: Even if I am destined to be sacrificed, it will be the most supreme glory. No matter what you say this time, I have already made up my mind.

Sariel: Sure, let me ask you this, how would someone like you who does not even know how to use a submachine gun to receive glory? Are you going to use your jumping talent in the battlefield to dodge the dense bullets? You don't even understand what the word "sacrifice" actually meant.

Raymond: That's at least stronger than sitting here and waiting for the doom. I don't want to be a coward, and be unable to protect who I love. People can't live so selfishly. I think, this is the meaning of why I am born into this era.

The pair of aquamarine eyes burn in pure enthusiasm. Sariel have seen so many pairs of eyes like this in many years ago. They were all looking at him, filled with hope and trust.

The yellow sands filled the air, and easily swallowed these silhouette.

They were all once a child to parents, a parent to children, and the people who are loved and missed.

They end up to be a tiny drip of ink in the history book, written on the pages scorned by people.

A sharp pain came from his chest. Sariel can't help but to extend an arm to press on his heart's location.

Despite trying his best to suppress it, under great pains, the faint groan still leaked out from his lips.

Sariel: ......

Raymond immediately stride to him, but Sariel waved at him.

After a moment, Sariel straightened his body, and looked towards Raymond again.

Sariel: Ray, before this, it has already been very long since the last time there was a war on this land. Do you really know what it is like in the battlefields?

Raymond: Of course I--

Raymond's panicked justification halted under Sariel's cold gaze.

Sariel: There are no glory and hope from the chivalric novels in a battlefield. There are only the endless despair under the shadows shrouded under death and guilt. A despair like this will only swallow everyone in the end, and there will be nothing left. Ray, I do not wish you to be like this too.

Raymond froze as he stared at Sariel.

The person before him is pale, his golden eyes have exuded some gloominess like the barren lands after bushfires, with great unspeakable sorrow under the calmness.

But Raymond still shook his head with determination.

Raymond: I know you have experienced far much more than I do, but this time it's different. I have a reason where I must battle.

Raymond gently touched the pocket before his chest, there lies a photo with his lover, placed at the location closest to his heart.

Raymond: You told me before, that in your legends, cats have nine lives, so I definitely have them too. If there's something really happened to me, please tell this to Marge for me. Live well, I will watch over her from the heavens forever. 

He stared at Sariel directly, until Sariel nodded quietly.

The long lashes droops, it's impossible to read Sariel's expressions.

Raymond: See you again, Sariel, I hope everything goes well for you, it's fortunate for me to have met you.

Sariel: See you.

Raymond smiled as he picks up the umbrella, turned around and opened the door. The black umbrella walks further and further under the lonely light of the misty rains, and disappeared into a corner at the streetlight.

Sariel: May everything proceed smoothly for you.

Half a year later.

Just like before, Sariel has trimmed the trees in his courtyard very early in the morning, and started to read his newly-arrived newspaper.

A letter caught his attention.

Sariel: ... "We regret to inform you that Raymond Atwood has passed away during his duty. Yours sincerely, Royal Airforce Commander."

As if a forbidden switch being triggered, Sariel's vision suddenly became completely white.

Various fragments have flashed by in his sea of consciousness, and finally pieced into a tattered image, red and black blocks of color blurred out in the void.

The autumn this year is strangely short, the osmanthus flowers died in the cold winds before even managing to bloom. The person who were noisy about wanting to drink osmanthus flower tea is no longer back.

He suddenly remembered Raymond's words that day, people can't live so selfishly.

Sariel: *sighs* So you see, people should live a little more selfishly.

But is that really good? To escape to live in another place, reencountering a war again, then continue escaping... Is this his life?

What if there's no longer someone that he cares in this world left when he woke up? Does that count as being alive too?

He is unable to differentiate whether he feels more regret or sadness.

Sariel felt rainwater falling on his face, the coldness and warmth interchanged.

The deafening sirens suddenly sounded, the teacup gently fell on the porcelain plate, letting out a crisp sound.

Sariel: Another air raid again...

The skies outside the window are clear, it's the most dangerous weather for wartime.

There are certain things that are always inevitable in the end.

He stood up and watered the last scoop of water to the dead osmanthus tree in his courtyard.

When Marge opened her house door, there are still traces of tears on her face.

Sariel: You can't stay here.

Marge did not answer, and only staring at Sariel nervously.

Sariel: Come with me, to the nearest air defense basement. This air raid is extremely dangerous.

Right then, sounds of noisy children could be heard.

Girl: Don't bully Miss Marge!

Boy: We will hit whoever bullying Miss Marge!

The children popped out from Marge's back, being endlessly noisy. Marge wiped the corners of her eyes, then squatted and touched the girl's head.

Marge: This big brother is bringing us to a safer place, be a good girl, we'll follow him.

Marge turned around, and nodded to Sariel.

Marge: These children came here for refuge for some time, I can't leave them here.

Sariel supported the door with an arm, and made way for the children.

Sariel: Let's go.

The deafening sirens sounded once again. Sariel stride on the path, and the children trotted after him with all their might.

The sky is so clear that there isn't a single cloud in it. He recalled the time many years ago, where the youths following him set off an expedition on horses under the same blue sky.

The inauspicious engine sounds could be heard from afar. Everyone looked at each other under the pale white lights of the basement.

Boom-- A loud sound comparable to the thunders, followed by trembles, Sariel had no choice but to hold onto the walls, children showing their fearful expressions as they circled close by Margie's side.

Sariel: Cover your ears. This is just the beginning.

Just right after his voice died down, the sounds of bombarding continuously sounded. Pieces and pieces of bombs fell, with loud bombing sounds trembled so much that even eardrums hurt.

The earth trembled violently as a layer of dust from the walls fell down. Sariel looked up, the top brick wall of the tattered basement is already about to collapse.

Sariel: Watch out!

Sariel dragged a boy covering his ears tightly. After a moment, a giant block of concrete fell down from the ceiling, and crashed right on where he stood earlier.

The boy was overly shocked, and dragged onto Sariel's hem, then widened his eyes.

Within Sariel's palm, a weird light slowly surfaced, weaving into a shapeless net, and shrouded everyone within it.

The gravel fell down once again, but have bounced off as soon as it is in contact with the barrier that it had to fall along the outer peripherals, everyone in the barrier are uninjured.

The starlight dazzles, and gently protecting everyone here.

Girl: How pretty...

The little girl tightly hugging Marge raised her head in a blur as she muttered. Marge glanced at Sariel, and showed an expression of gratitude.

Another bomb fell again, the basement shook once again. Sariel stumbled, and the power in his hand got unstable, there's an opening in the barrier.

Sariel quickly supported himself against the wall, and stabilized the barrier.

Girl: Ah!

The girl pointed behind her in panic, the flower in her hair is trembled out of the barrier when there was an opening.

Sariel: Don't move, I'll retrieve it.

Sariel walked over carefully. He picked up the flower hair accessory, and gently blown off the dust on it.

His gaze stopped at a long opening on it.

Sariel: I'll sew it for you when we are back.

Girl: Really?

Sariel: I won't lie to you.

Time passed second by second under the violent bombing sounds, until the air returns to its peace, only then Sariel reopened the basement door.

The hot sunlight is now extremely dazzling. Sariel squinted his eyes, paused for a couple of seconds, and only then his vision is gradually becoming clearer.

The skies is still clear, but the world before him has became completely wounded.

Too many lives died, there's just too many.

When will there be peace and happiness on this beautiful land?

Someone gently tapped on his shoulder. Sariel turned around, Marge is nodding to him in gratitude.

Marge: Thank you, Mr. Sariel.

Sariel: You're welcome.

Marge: Talents from Erdas are indeed wonderful. Ray wasn't willing to talk much about it with me, this is actually my first time to truly witness it. If he's still here, will there be a day where I'm already old, yet he still look young? With this, it's happy enough.

Looking at Marge's emotional gaze, Sariel is uncertain on what to do. He is not proficient in consoling people, only to speak after remaining silent for a while.

Sariel: Ray has only one wish, for you to live well, this is the last thing he said before he left.

Tears surged out from her eyes. Marge immediately turned around, and panickily took her handkerchief out to wipe them.

Marge: I'm sorry...

Sariel: You don't have to apologize.

Marge: I will remember his words, and I will try my best to protect more people. Thank you.

Until Marge has calmed down, she turned around again, holding a ball pen in his hand.

Marge: Mr. Sariel, Ray has shown me the clothing you have designed before. I heard that you have quit since long ago, we both find it a pity. This is Ray's favorite ball pen, please keep this, consider it as a blessing from Ray and I to you. May you be able to survive this warfare safely, may it be able to witness beautiful works once again. This is a wish from both of us.

The jet black-bodied pen is slender, with three gold stamped petals at the end of the pen shining brightly under the sun's reflections*.

*T/N: This is the pen he's using in Chapter 2-05.

Sariel took the pen, it's light, but it felt like it has thousands of pounds of weight. The dazzling sunlight reflected within those pair of golden eyes, just like dancing flames.

Sariel: Thank you.

Sariel kept the pen well. His hem is suddenly tugged. Looking down, the girl held needles and thread with a hand and her flower hair accessory with another as she handed both to him.

Girl: Big brother, you promised to sew this for me.

He really had no idea where she could find needles and threads so quickly. Sariel was dumbfounded as he took the items.

It's a mess everywhere, yet the children are chasing around each other as usual.

Sariel closed his eyes, as if he has felt the long-awaited sense of vitality.

Children are laughing, the vines on the walls are absorbing sunlight, even the yellow jasmine flower at the corner of the walls are blooming as usual.

The flames of life is burning brightly on the wreckages.

Evoke: 44 Years Ago, End of Spring: Spring in Town

"Living in a tiny city, living unchanging days every single day. After buying groceries in the morning, I would always like to have a walk on the city walls. This has already became a habit of mine."

"As people walk on the city walls, it feels like they have left this world, with nothing in sight, with nothing in mind..."

In this open-air plaza of Jiangnan city, there will always be a movie played every week. Though it's said to have a movie every week, but it's just the same few movies being played repetitively. After listening long enough, you can even know the next sentence.

Sariel closed his window, but the black and white image still reflected on the glass, flickering.

Knock knock knock-- The door is knocked.

Sariel: Who is it?

???: ... It's me, A Xin.

Sariel opened the door, a emaciated-looking girl stood before the door. She is wearing the most common grey dress that could be seen everywhere on the streets, holding a metal can, lowering her head without looking at him.

A Xin: Master Qi, I'll have to leave this place next month.

Sariel stayed quiet at the entrance for a very long time.

Were there someone telling him the same in the past? Sariel thought at a loss. He should've been used to it long ago, logically he should have gotten used to it.

At the moment where the seasons change from cold to warm, the winds brushing over his cheeks are still a little cold.

Thoughts began to drift afar in the void, surging against the flow of time. He had a touch of the origins of every happening once again.

"Home, in an alley, walking past a little bridge, and that's the backdoor of our house."

Until this day, he still remembers the sunny spring day on his first day arriving this town.

Workers are busily setting up the screen, and not far away, there's a little girl sitting on the staircase, supporting her cheeks and spaced out as she stared at them.

The gentle breeze brushes past, there's something fluttering and landed on the head. Sariel raised an arm to gently remove them, there are a few pale pink petals laying in his palm.

???: This master...

A timid voice sounded from behind. Sariel frowned, but still turned around.

It's the girl earlier. She looked like she's only 10 years old, with her hands holding a paper.

She probably sat too long in the plaza, looking dusty, there's only that pair of particularly bright eyes nervously looking at him.

Seeing Sariel turning around, she handed the paper on her hand to him.

???: Did you drop this?

That is a yellowing draft paper, the hem drawn on the paper is already a little unfamiliar, but there are no doubts that they came from him.

How did it appear here?

Sariel: Thank you.

Sariel took it, and immediately checked the stack of papers in his hand, he probably brought it with him by accident, and was blown away by the winds, thankfully this child has picked it up.

He was just about to turn away and leave, but the young girl before him still stood there as she nervously crossed her fingers, only to look up at him after a while with her face flushed red.

???: I, I'm A Xin.

A Xin: Did you draw the dress on the paper? I've never seen such a beautiful dress... It's just like those that are worn by the people in the movies.

After finishing everything under a single breath, she lowered her head, as if the sentence earlier has exhausted all of her courage.

Sariel looked at the design draft again. It has been more than half a decade past, he has already been avoiding those past happenings for a long time, but he did not expect for it to be revealed by accident.

Sariel: ... No.

Sariel coldly replied, turned around and left.

The sounds of footsteps have instead followed him like shadows, and by the time he almost reached the door of his house, Sariel had no choice but to stop his footsteps.

Sariel: Why are you following me?

A Xin: ... I just wanted to have another look, just have another look on that beautiful dress.

Her voice is very light, but her gaze is particularly determined. The pair of eyes filled with anticipation are just the same as Dante's back in those years.

Sariel was in a trance for a moment, he did not decline it like how he used to do in the past, only to quietly open the door of his house.

A Xin: C- Can I go in?

Sariel: Close the door.

He walked into the house as he dropped the sentence. A Xin took a few seconds to process what he said, only then she carefully entered the house.

Sariel opened a locked wooden drawer, and carefully kept the old draft in it.

A Xin's little head popped out from the side.

Sariel: Wash your hand.

A Xin immediately brought a bowl of well water to Sariel.

Sariel: ......

Completing a series of actions Sariel determined, A Xin carefully held the draft paper, gently flipping the pages, looking very focused.

A Xin: Master, can--

Sariel: My name isn't Master.

He pointed to the signature on the draft, there's a clear 'Qi' written on it.

A Xin: Alright, Master Qi.

Sariel: ......

A Xin: The dress you drew are too beautiful, can I have you to make one for me?

The girl pointed towards the draft she picked up earlier, and immediately added after seeing Sariel's frown.

A Xin: I know it's very expensive, I will save a bit of money every day, if this year wouldn't work then I'll make it work next year, if next year wouldn't work then the year after next year...

The child muttered, and Sariel sighed lightly.

Sariel: I have not been making these for a long time.

A Xin: Why is that? You look like you are a lot better than the best tailors in this town. 

Sariel: ...... It's very hard to find fabric like this now. 

A Xin: Perhaps you can find it when I saved enough money?

The girl looked at him in anticipation. Looking at her tattered clothes filled with patches, Sariel no longer spoke.

His fingertips gently glides over the draft paper, as if he has given a silent consent.

On the next day, a weird clanging voice came from the door.

Sariel opened the door to find A Xin tinkering with something at his door.

Sariel: What are you doing?

Hearing Sariel's voice all of a sudden, A Xin was surprised, immediately kept her hands, the metal can dropped onto the floor.

Looking like a child caught for being naughty, she drooped her head in guilt.

A Xin: I will place a coin whenever I walk past here every day. I will definitely not disturb you.

Sariel: There's no need to do so, it'll only attract thieves if you place it here.

A Xin: There is.

The child look like a honest one, but is exceptionally stubborn at times like this.

Does she have to save money despite wearing tattered clothes every day...? Sariel looked at the stubborn look, and there is that sliver of compassion in his heart.

Every morning since then, the metal can by his entrance will make a crisp sound. Just as what A Xin said, she will leave as soon as she placed her coin, and never disturb the house owner.

At times Sariel would look outwards the source of sound to see a skinny silhouette carrying a backpack.

The feel from the past can't be found, the template drawing isn't going well. Sariel placed his pen down.

Sariel: By the time she's not that adamant anymore, I'll return this can to her.

Sariel would notice A Xin whenever he occasionally passes by the plaza. She will always appear on the first row of seats every week, staring at the screen with scorching gaze.

Sometimes she'd be teary, sometimes she'd shake her head.

Sariel has never understood what's watchable in that movie. A woman that is married to a husband she doesn't love, to only loiter alone on the city walls when she buy groceries every day.

"Nothing in sight, with nothing in mind, if I weren't carrying the grocery basket with the medicine my sick husband's eating, perhaps I wouldn't go home for the entire day."

Yet he has stopped his footsteps when he saw the girl dressed in Qipao with an indifferent look.

His town has collapsed over time, but that past seemed to have never gone far, he could even still hear someone calling out his name from afar: "General Qi, you are finally here".

Time brought some people to him, then brought them away with not a single trace left. Ever since, time has been a frozen river to him, and stopped flowing.

By the time he returned to his senses, the movie has ended.

A Xin: Master Qi, do you like this movie too?

Sariel: ... I don't.

A Xin: I don't like it too.

Sariel: Then why do you watch it every time?

A Xin: I wanted to wait for the day YuWen leaves the city, but I've watched tens of times, yet I still can't see it.

Sariel: There won't be such a day, this movie has ended.

Time flows away just like this, until this very day four years later.

Sariel looked at the child, she has grown a little taller, but she is still very skinny, and a little timid and being overly careful.

A Xin: Next month, I'll have to leave this place. Do you think these money would be enough to make that dress?

She opened the can and handed it to Sariel, a mountain of coins dropped out, Sariel shook his head, and pushed it to her again.

Sariel: It's not about money, I am no longer able to make it.

A Xin: But...

A Xin sat down like a puppet in a daze, and just when she was about to say something, a loud yelling sounded from the door.

???: A Xin? A Xin!

A Xin suddenly stood up, her expressions became fearful. She stepped out of the door, but her arm was suddenly being dragged forcefully by the comer.

A Xin's Father: You little brat, you're already someone getting married, yet you still dare to wander around here?!

He glared at Sariel as he spoke. Sariel suddenly understood everything, and his gaze became ice-cold in an instant.

Sariel: A trash that still only knows how to sell his daughter in this era is unworthy to step past this door.

A Xin's Father: You!

A Xin turned around and looked towards her father, his gaze filled with plea. She muttered something in a quiet voice, her father finally released her and left after scolding in anger.

A few children around her age are carrying their backpacks, playing as they pass by the alley.

Sariel: To give up so much of possibilities just like this, don't you feel sad about it?

A Xin stayed quiet for a long time, shook her head, then lightly nodded.

Sariel seemed to have seen the lifeless castle walls, and the beautiful, absentminded woman.

Just like the thousands of girls in this era, they all have a pair of sad, unwilling eyes.

Sariel: If you wish to leave this town, you can tell me.

A Xin: But what can I do after I've left? Master Qi, I thought of escaping before, I'm unwilling to live a life like YuWen. But after escaping, I might be captured by my father, then marry that man and become that man's wife. Or perhaps I'll die halfway, my father shed two drops of tears for me, then simply buried me. From the start till the end, I'm born as their people, and die as their ghost, I have never lived for myself for even a single day. Why must I pay such a great price, or even my life in order to be myself? Yet those people only needed to shed two drops of tears, but they could live on for a hundred years?

Sariel looked at this girl, it seems like there's already something different on her.

A Xin: I do not wish to be a soundless wind, I want to be gust of strong wind. So, I have to first live on, then live a bright and beautiful life.

Her silhouette behind her father looks skinny and frail, yet her back is standing straight, tough like reed grasses.

Sariel quietly returned to his desk, and held his pen once again.

In the open air plaza, the movie is played once again, it has been too many times, that there are not a single spectator anymore.

Days later, Sariel's house that was originally deserted suddenly became lively, many fabric businessmen in the town visited to visit this great client that has requested for complicated requests.

The enthusiastic act from the businessmen still made Sariel uncomfortable, but he still patiently looked at every sample, until he confirms the main fabric.

A certain night a month later, Sariel knocked onto A Xin's house door for his very first time.

Without waiting for someone to open the door, he hooked the fabric bag with the coin can onto the door, turn around, and left.

He no longer wish to have another glance at that father again, only to leave his most sincere blessings in the beauty the little girl has anticipated for.

It seems like there's a yelling wound wafted from distant, but Sariel never looked back.

The white lights lengthened his shadows, and just like that, he walked into the blurry night mists.

"Like being drunk, like a dream, at this time, the moon's high, a little breezy."

Recover: 11 Years Ago, Wintertime

Sariel: Ahem ahem...

Lizard: Let me see who's here.

Sariel: ......

Lizard: You don't know me anymore?

Sariel: With that silly face of yours, it's hard for even the common people to forget about it.

Sariel: Why are you coming back at this timing? To mock me?

Lizard: Lao Zhong brought me back.

Lao Zhong: You sent me off to buy porridge, but just when I bought the porridge home, there's no longer anyone at home.

Lao Zhong: Do you not want to see me that much?

Lao Zhong: I thought there will be some changes in you after disappearing for so many years, turns out you're still having that same old behavior, only knowing to push people away.

Sariel: There are many people that would change in this world, there's no need to look for it from me.

Lao Zhong: Anyone has their times where they can't get over things, don't always force yourself.

Sariel: I don't want to see him.

Lizard: That's great, you've recovered a lot.

Lizard: You made me so worried all the way here, what happens if I can no longer see you?

Lizard: As expected of General Qi, blessed with luck as always.

Sariel: Keep your claws away from me.

Lizard: Oh, I've probably been traveling for too long, it's a little cold.

Sariel: No, it's too hot.

Lizard: Lao Qi, you are actually not angry?

Sariel: Angry for what?

Lizard: I purposely mentioned "General Qi" just now, turns out you weren't angry in the end.

Lizard: Thank heavens, my sense of guilt is now gone, I was originally thinking if I were being too mean back then.

Sariel: I forgot about it a long time ago.

Lizard: You are always saying one thing but thinking about another.

Lizard: That day when you sent me back to Rain Island, you purposely didn't take your house key back. I knew you were just bluffing.

Lizard: Also thanks to you not taking your house key back, that we can still find this place easily.

Sariel: If you're still talking on your own, then I'll feed you boiled celery tonight.

Lao Zhong: Hahahaha, there are still this part of you that has never changed.

Lao Zhong: I was wrong, there are always something that has changed.

Lao Zhong: I've heard that you're debuting as a designer again?

Sariel: ... Yeah.

Lao Zhong: Have you heard how the media has praised you?

Lao Zhong: "A genius designer famous since young", won't an old folk a few thousand years old like you have some shame for it?

Sariel: What, not allowing an Erda to be young again now?

Lizard: That's definitely not it, we can't wait to see you to be up and lively!

Lizard: You gave up with such resolute back then, and you started to become a designer again, congratulations.

Sariel: ... There you go again, know-it-all.

Lizard: Of course I know, it's not like I've been sleeping in Rain Island for decades. I've always been updated on what happened out there.

Lizard: Also, there's a certain someone leaving his key with me, so I always have to pay more attention to him.

Sariel: So you've been watching me for decades?

Lizard: This is the concern coming from family.

Lizard: I'm serious, to see you restarting a normal life, I'm happy for you.

Lizard: Although I kept feeling you have not completely let go of the past, but at least you've taken a first step.

Lizard: To experience various happenings, to feel pain or happiness, and finally sort them properly, and keep them in memories...

Lizard: You should've made peace with your past long ago.

Lizard: Of course, it's not late to do it now too.

Sariel: Ugh, don't suddenly pull the curtains open, it's too bright.

Lizard: That's exactly why I have to show it to you. It just snowed yesterday, the grounds are particularly bright.

Lizard: Lao Qi, the sunlight outside the windows are very good.

Lizard: Look, it's shining on us now.