Main Story Chapter 11-13: Along with the Sins (与罪同行) | Light and Night 光与夜之恋

Please check previous chapter before proceeding with this chapter. Read here.

At the instant the door of the operation room is opened, I couldn't respond in time, and only to stand up right after a short pause.

Before I can manage to talk, I already felt a sense of heaviness on my left shoulder. A fluffy head is already leaning on it.

You: Charlie, was the operation going smoothly?

He did not answer immediately, only nodding like a coquettish big puppy, and nuzzled by my neck.

Charlie: Dr. Chen took over the suture, it should end soon. I haven't been able to care about you earlier, did you get angry?

With the reassuring smell of disinfectant, I can't help but to smile, and I can only feel gentleness within myself.

You: Yeah, I got angry.

Charlie: How many kisses would it take for me to coax you?

You: Cha-r-lie!

The culprit on my shoulder laughed. His warm breath pours on my neck, it feels ticklish.

Charlie: Alright alright alright, I'll stop talking. Why is there such a fiancee in this world that is this hard to coax?

You: I will stop being angry if you bandaged your wounds properly.

Charlie: I've already did that just now.

He lets go of me, looking up, then raised his wrist triumphantly as he waved it before me. 

Charlie: Do you know what this is called? 

You: What is it?

Charlie: This is what the saying of "couple of the same mind, hearts of one" is.

You: ......

Seeing that he's this tired yet particularly happy, I'll not be calculative with him anymore.

You: Are you injured anywhere else in the art gallery?

Charlie: Speaking of this, fiancee, you are indeed my lucky star.

You: Huh?

Charlie: If you didn't insist for me to leave, I'll definitely continue to walk deeper, then it wouldn't be something as simple as a mere hand injury.

Recalling the condition back then, I still can't help but to feel some aftershock.

You: I'm not a "lucky star" or the sort, I just happened to find out something...

Where should I begin with? Yangyang, kidnapper, self-combustion... I tried to form my words properly, and just then, the door of the operation room is pushed opened once again.

The first thing I saw through the slit of the door is a push cart covered in white cloth.

Charlie's figure became stiff in an instant.

The nurse looking in full of regret stood by the push cart. Her eyelids drooped as soon as she saw us.

Nurse: Dr. Zha, the patient suddenly went into shock, Chief Sun has already announced her death.

Death? But didn't Charlie say the operation was going very smoothly, with only suture left?!

Before I can respond to the situation, Charlie has already ran towards there. This time, I didn't remain where I was, but have instead followed suit.

Charlie: What exactly is going on?!

He blocked the push cart that is about to be sent to the mortuary, looking at Chief Sun with surprise.

Chief Sun: It's regretful to say this, the patient suddenly went into shock, and due to myocardial suppression, DIC*, and a combination of multiple organ failures, the rescue was unsuccessful.

*T/N: Disseminated intravascular coagulation - overactivity in proteins that controls blood clot.

Charlie: But it was clearly--

Chief Sun: The patient's shock transition was unstable, you have tried your best, Dr. Zha. Xiao Chen, inform the police on the result of surgery.

Dr. Chen: Doctor? Aren't we supposed to inform the family members?

Chief Sun: The police on the scene has already confirmed the patient's identity. Her name is Tian Zhen, and she's an orphan. The follow-up process still required assistance from the police. I still have a meeting coming up, so I'll take my leave.

Chief sun walked past Charlie, raising an arm seemingly wanting to give his shoulder a pat, but he ended up drooped his arm and walked straight ahead.

I don't know how I should describe Charlie's expression right now. His face became very much darkened, it looks like there's a layer of dust covered over him.

Slivers of pain flashed by his eyes, and within the pain lies dis disbelief and unwillingness to admit to the reality. He stood right there without budging, it's as if his soul has been drawn from his body.

This expression made me think that he's almost going to cry.

I wanted to say something. Perhaps to tell him to not be sad, perhaps to tell him that he has tried his best, or perhaps to just hug him without saying a thing.

However, besides remaining silent, there is nothing that I can say, nor there is anything that I could do.

I clearly remembered that last time, right in this hospital, from somewhere that is only just a little over 10 meters from here, I told him that he is an incredible doctor with my own words.

He has also did it, still insisting to operate even if he's injured. But why? Why is the end result still not going as his wish despite he has given his all?!

The push cart pushes before him, and a faint smell that smells similar to pencil lead wafted towards us. Charlie's finger moved, and suddenly grabbed onto the cart's handle.

Charlie: Lao He, something is wrong. This is odd.

Dr. He: Everyone have tried their best. I know you're unwilling to admit to defeat, but there's not much vital signs when Tian Zhen is sent here. Accidents will happen anytime during surgeries, and this is not something we can control of. You have to learn to accept it.

Charlie: Accept what? I've already brought her back to live, there was only hemostasis and suture left, it's impossible for problems to surface from there. It's not even half an hour since I left. There must be a lesion that I've missed... there must be a reason...

He gripped onto the handle tightly, kept muttering something in his lips. Dr. He, who's standing by the side can only let the doctor that is in charge of the push cart to leave, and looked at Charlie worriedly.

Charlie: Something isn't right with her skin. That isn't a skin that a child should have.

Ignoring the obstructions, Charlie opened the white cloth, finger reaching out towards the back of the girl's neck.

Dr. He: Charlie are you crazy?! Do you still remember that you're a doctor?!

Charlie: What a doctor should NOT do is to let their patient to die without a reason.

Suddenly, Charlie's hand paused. I can feel him stunned at where he's standing, just like a statue.

In the persistence of silence, Dr. He removed Charlie's hand, and covered the white cloth again over the corpse.

Dr. He: There are only doctors that pursues different things, and there's no doctor that wouldn't rescue lives. You should go back and rest for now, and we can talk about the rest later.

I don't know what exactly has happened. From Charlie's expression, I can only see that he looked like he has just gotten to a realization, but it's all too late.

Charlie: That smell--

He suddenly recalled something, then turned around and rushed into the operation room.

Charlie: Where's the medical waste from the operation just now? Are all of them already cleared?!

The nurse that is cleaning the operation table got shocked, and nodded quickly.

Nurse: T-that's right, it's already gone when we entered. What's wrong, Dr. Zha?

Charlie: This is bad!

My heart sank. Goosebumps climbed all over me uncontrollably.

In that instant, I suddenly have a strong feeling that we are being watched. It's as if each and every action of ours have been watched by someone as soon as we entered the hospital.

And that person, is always walking way before us.

With hasty steps towards the nearest duty room, Charlie closed the door and dialed a number.

Charlie: Jill, immediately stop a few medical waste truck right now, it should've just left the hospital not long ago. Then test all of the syringes and the IV bags, the faster the better. Tell me immediately as soon as there are any problems--

???: Why are you always so stubborn?!

This voice shocked me.

Dr. He has already pushed the door open without us knowing. His tone is very stern, and from his eyes, there are worries, anger, fear, and pain, but the only feeling that is absent is hate.

Dr. He: There's something that you've been keeping to yourself, I know. I asked you if you wanted to work here back then was just because I was hoping that changing an environment will help you to reduce your burden and let you feel a little more relaxed. There are many things in this world that can't be measured by right and wrong. Anyway don't dive deeper into this matter anymore! Leave it as it is.

Charlie: Why can't I dive deeper into it?

Dr. He: Some things are very complicated, and there are many people who are involved here, it's not something that you should simply lay your hands on.

Charlie: Lao He, did you found out something?

Dr. He: No.

Charlie: But I found something.

Dr. He: I thought you'd understand this after what happened last time, but looks like you didn't. You have instead became even more stubborn now. You fear nothing, and you have your own principle that you can't break. But have you thought for your mother, that she only wanted you to live a simple and happy life!

Bang! The door is closed heavily. I felt like I've gotten in touch with Charlie's secrets of his past, but I can't sort it right.

I turned around to look towards me. And it's right at this instant, I saw something that could be called fragile from his eyes.

I can't tell what that is, it only feels like it's just like the dewdrops in the morning, that it will shatter upon the slightest touch. 

Throughout all these while, the Charlie I knew is someone fearless and living openly. He has never spoken about any of his troubles to me, that I've forgotten that he would actually feel sad, afraid, and lost as well.

I pulled his hand, gently massaging the spot between his thumb and index finger.

Charlie: Do you think I'm too stubborn too?

You: Charlie, have you heard of this type of bird?

Charlie: What is it?

You: This type of bird is born into a weird shape. It has colorful feathers, with two crystals in its eyes, and it even sings the songs of the humans.

Charlie smiled, seemingly understood something.

You: It isn't afraid of the cold, so it doesn't have to migrate to the south during winter. It also doesn't eat little worms, it only finds the sweet popcorns to be the most delicious of all. Afterwards, it also noticed that not all birds are that afraid of the cold, and they don't have to eat little worms either. It's just because they have been told that doing those are the right thing to do. 

You: But when it tell the other birds on its findings, those birds have instead said-- Don't say those weird things anymore, birds should be just like us, your conscience is wrong. You'll be frozen to death if you don't go south, it's also the same if you eat something other than little worms, either will bring a bad ending to you. This has allowed it to doubt if it's really wrong, and it started to hesitate if he should give in. But when it saw its beautiful and thick feathers, and looked at the fragrant and sweet popcorns before it, it's certain that its is not wrong. This isn't stubbornness, it's having a clear self conscience. Even if it is being obstructed, even if it is being different from everyone else, it still believes that what it does is correct.

Charlie: Such a unique bird, I believe only fiancee owns it in this entire world, right?

I didn't understand what he said at the beginning, but the moment I saw his energetic smile again, I suddenly understood what he meant.

You: When did I say I was talking about you? I'm talking about the bird.

Charlie: When did I say I was talking about myself? I'm also talking about the bird. I think the most correct thing it did, is to have found its own fiancee.

You: ...... Who told you that this bird has a fiancee?

Charlie: I'm very certain, that it has a fiancee.  Its fiancee is now standing right before him. She is warmer than the south, sweeter than popcorns, and her temper is greater than popcorns, but she has a pair of eyes that discovers beauty.

You: ... How can you manage to redirect everything back to yourself?

Charlie: *chirps*

You: What are you saying?

Charlie: It means thank you.

Just like that, he looked at me with a smile. I can't help but to laugh, but I've finally felt reassured.

You: Charlie, what do you plan to do next?

Charlie: Let's first wait for Jill's message.

I nodded, and perhaps it's because I've finally felt temporarily relieved, I suddenly felt a little hungry.

I subconsciously rubbed my stomach. Charlie noticed it, and raised a brow softly.

Charlie: Fiancee, are you hungry? It shouldn't happen, am I not appetizing enough for you?

You: Here it comes again isn't it?

Charlie: Don't worry, although we can't go to the restaurant now, but you can still have a feast today. Since my culinary skills is comparable to a 3-star Michelin chef.

He opened the locker's door, and just like he's holding gold bars, he carefully took out two bowls of... instant noodles.

You: ...?

Charlie: The simplest ingredients can also become delicacy after I've added my touch to it. You won't get a chance to eat something this delicious from anywhere else.

You: But these are the most commonly seen ingredients, no? Cheese, shredded seaweed, ham, egg...

Charlie: There's also this.

A little teaspoon holding black powder waved a little before me, then got placed within. He then pours hot water in, covered the lid, and placed it into the microwave.

You: What did you put in the end?

Charlie: Some cocoa powder.

You: Why does it sound like a cursed food?!

Charlie: Would I make you eat those kind of things? With cocoa powder added, there are just no words to describe how delicious it is. Just wait for it.

You: ... Okay then, I'll see what happens.

We stood by the microwave just like that, making short talks that makes no sense. The lamps of the duty room aren't switched on, only the moonlight pouring all over the floor through the windows.

The entire room looked like it's soaked in the rippling glows of the river, slowly flowing along the time, and it has made me calm.

Suddenly, I noticed something at Charlie's elbow-- There's a cut that came from nowhere.

You: Uh--

Charlie raised his elbow, and shrugged with some pity.

You: Wait for me a little.

I searched in my bag, and took out my carry-on thread and needle. After passing the thread through the needle, it only took me a short moment to sew the cut back.

You: How's that, it's still good isn't it?

Charlie: Actually I still have many clothes that needs mending at home. Do you want to consider to move in to live with me right now?

You: I'm holding a needle right now, say a thing more and I'll poke you with it.

Charlie: Petty.

After tying a knot and cutting the thread, and just when I was keeping my thread, my wrist suddenly felt heavy. A black bracelet suddenly appeared there.

The outer circle is surrounded by a few black feathers. Turning my wrist a little, and I can see the black opal showing beautiful changes of color under the light.

You: This is...

Charlie: A gift in return. It's a collectible I saw when I was strolling in the art gallery. I begged the curator for a long time for him to agree to sell it to me.

You: There are actually times you begged others, huh?

Charlie: It can't be helped. The moment I had my first glance on it, I felt like it should be worn on my fiancee's hand. I'm guessing that you must be thinking "I can't just take something this expensive for nothing. What should I gift this attentive and generous man back in return?"

You: How did you know?!

Charlie: It's not expensive, it's just rare. Just wear it with no worries.

You: Thank you.

Ding-- The tempting fragrance is already coming out from the microwave, but just when we took the instant noodles out, Charlie's phone has already rang.

The moment I saw Jill's name on it, I knew that it's possible for us to miss this meal again.

Charlie: You said you detected a large amount of DEA medication from one of the syringes? Okay, understood.

He fell into deep thoughts after hanging up the call. I'm very curious of what DEA medication is, so I secretly searched it up, but I can't find anything at all.

Charlie: I'll need to take a leave for a while, just eat them before me.

You: Are there anything that I can help you with?

Charlie: Yes.

He pushes the instant noodles towards me, smiling as he touched the bracelet on my wrist.

Charlie: After dinner, send yourself home safely, and remember to contact me once you're home.

You: ... Okay.

Watching him standing up and leave, I suddenly remembered that not too long ago, he was also waving at me and running into the fire scene just like this.

You: Hey, Charlie, wait!

He has already took a few steps out. Then turned around to look at me.

You: No matter what you do, you have to be careful.

Charlie: The perfect Dr. Zha never disappoints.

I sat in the room and finished eating the instant noodles myself. Different from the taste I've expected, it's really delicious.

The ingredients are all mixed together, it's all a mess, and it doesn't look like there are any tricks, but it tastes just like home.

I took a book from the table, originally planning to cover it over Charlie's noodle. I simply flipped a few pages, but my gaze was attracted by the content within.

This isn't a book, but a scrapbook. What's stuck within is not the magazines or newspaper cutouts that we usually see, but photocopied death reports.

Charlie's name is signed under each report, except for the first one.

It writes "Mark Alexander, male, 38 years old, second degree burnt area 97%, third degree 80%. Death to unsuccessful rescue upon 20 minutes of admission".

It's a record over ten years ago, the paper has already yellowed.

In the most recent record, Yangyang's grandmother's name is written on it.

He remembers each and every one of them.

I seem to be able to imagine how he looked when he leaned on the low dining table making his records seriously in this quiet room.

Also the look of how he anticipated the future when he raised his right arm with a scorching gaze.

Charlie: I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant: I will pledge to prescribe only beneficial treatments for the patient; I will keep them from harm and injustice. I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. 

Charlie: Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relationships with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick. I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm. What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about. 

Charlie: If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with the fame among men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot*.

*T/N: Shortened version of the Hippocratic oath.

Tears shed with no warning just like that. I raised my arm to wipe them off, then closed the scrapbook.

It's already very late by the time I left the hospital.

I sent a message to Charlie, but I didn't receive a reply. He's probably still busy.

It's windy. This winter seem to have arrived particularly early, it's particularly cold.

In the office on 23rd floor of the hospital, it's all pitch dark. Charlie is squatting before a tall book rack searching for something. There are seven or eight bottles of medicine bottle laying beside him.

There's already a barrier set by the entrance. Nobody can barge in.

Suddenly, he touched a hidden compartment at the back of the book rack. Because it's covered by many medical books, he has never noticed this in the past.

The opening process is very smooth. He took out a tiny safe box from the inside.

???: Dr. Zha, what are you doing?!

The lights that are suddenly brightened have torn the darkness open, brightening the angry face of Chief Sun.