Woke up 30 minutes later than usual today, and I'm about to have my Japanese presentation hours later. Instead of calling it a presentation, I'd rather call it as a role play, since I don't go out and convince the entire world about what topic I'm presenting. Topic would be food and places, and /hopefully/ things would go fine later, /if/ and only if I don't screw up along with my group members. 

It has been quite some time since I'm putting myself onto a stage to act as someone else. Hopefully my muse would be getting into me today. My muse, Hijirikawa Masato, is a great actor, after all. At least in my eyes, he is. 

I'm now sitting in an open area outside of my university's library. Weather is great! It's cooling and the wind feels so breezy that actually kept me yawning but... It feels great! What's more, the university wifi works for my laptop today. Can't be more grateful for that. 

I wished I had more time on preparation for script memorizing and such, but the more I read, the more nervous I am. I don't think that I am having much problems with my Japanese role play today, since I have my fundamentals, all thanks to dad that bought me a PS3 with a fully Japanese FFXIII game for my results in PMR examination that I have to force myself to grab and understand words in the Japanese language. 

Anime too, of course! I could watch and grasp the meaning and dialogues without subtitles, though it isn't /that/ accurate, yet. But I'll be working on the language during my trimester break! For that, I wanted to talk to dad and mom on Saturday. As long as I don't screw up, I might get a chance. There are so much more that I think I have to confess, but I don't know if I could keep my cool and do it calmly, too. Guess I'll just tell them that I really wanted to take up that language and get myself certified, then fly to Japan for my master studies. 

I'm feeling slightly depressed and sleepy right now that my mind is trying its best to shut itself down even after drinking a nice cup of coffee from mama. I ate my breakfast, too! I am also certain that I slept for at least five hours that I'm not /that/ sleepless compared to those days when I have to go all-nighter to complete writing my very first programming assignment. It was 72 straight hours without sleeping and right after I'm done with most of the jobs, I collapsed right in front of the calculus lecturer's lecture.

Right in front of her, sleeping like nobody's business. 

I bet she was rather pissed over the matter, since I failed two out of three of her tests and still being so daring to sleep in her class. No lecturers would want to see failures among their students too, I believe. I know that everyone in the teaching industry has to write reports of this and that on the students' grades, and it is certainly a lousy thing to do when you have to come up with explanations on why this student fails and such. 

But then again, there are times that the fault doesn't lie on the students themselves, because education here is considered publicized that you could see many students that doesn't know what they are actually doing that studies for a bachelors' degree that you may want to point to the cause of the problem to parents, because they are the ones that are supposed to be an adviser to their children, or at least, support their decisions and desire on achieving their dreams, not crushing them.

I told mom that my dreams were crushed by her a couple of months ago, and she was extremely angry and denies the whole story. But I remembered it so clearly, that those images still appears here in my mind on how they said things as being a graphics designer is not good, this and that... And they asked me why am I even downgrading myself from a science student to an arts student.

I was /certainly/ unhappy about that, but I went along with what I am doing right now. It's computer science, still a bachelors in science, after all. Though I may get my chance to lay my fingers on a little graphics here and there for my program's GUI, which is something that at least I could be a little happier of. And of course, daddy and mommy are the ones that paid for my expenses. Though I have to fake things around that I would be fine and such from time to time, it certainly hurts when you know that your initial dreams that you have tried so hard to hold onto goes 'POOF!' just because of several words.

Some said that if you doesn't belong to a certain field, you wouldn't pass your exams easily no matter how hard you studied. I'm being grateful that none of my main papers failed, though I get some C+'s for discrete mathematics simply because I had no idea on what happened throughout the class, and how ignorant I was towards mathematics, that I am regretting it so much right now. 

Another was for this elective humanities subject called Interpersonal Communications. I registered for that unit with great hopes to learn on how to talk in a nicer way to others, also seeing it as a way to fix my fiery temper. Lectures were all fine, and I scored an A- for my overall assignment, too. But final exam paper was being an asshole that everything came out with theory questions, and I thought that I answered it just fine but the result drags my GPA from 4.0 to 3.1, so... yeah.

Well, on the bright side,I took another subject last semester on Basic Professional Writing that I scored an A for my final exam papers. If I didn't take that subject, my GPA for the previous semester would be 2.3333 instead of 3.1, too. 

I should learn to be more grateful, really.

Though I asked my academic adviser on how I should do with this and that for my subjects in this semester since assignments are giving me restless nights that I can't get quality sleep, he suggested me to fight harder because it's already the 10th week. 

Just a few more weeks to the final exams for this semester. Time sure flies, doesn't it? I can't feel much time passed, but it's already week 10, like... seriously?

I'll have to work harder to sharpen my skills for my mid-term papers after this presentation a couple of hours later, else I couldn't find myself time to study for my database and C# programming tests on Friday, since I have to accompany a friend of mine to grab some books from Kinokuniya tomorrow evening, followed by a whole load of classes on Thursday and... Friday's the day for two consecutive exams! 

Oh and that reminds me, assignment submission for my database library, falls on Friday, too. Holy. I should have sharpen my quality of work and enhance my working speed much earlier so that I won't suffer today.

Either way, I shall start practicing again for the role play later, hopefully things will go smoothly later! May Kami-sama hear my prayers.